resurrected dreams

kamiaru @ 2006-07-29T12:08:00

2006-07-29T22:13:47Z

Recent events have caused me to gain a new appreciation for life, health, and sanity.

Meanwhile, I've been failing as a buddhist, and failing at life. But no more!
I wrote the word "Love" across my chest this morning in an act of syboloism. A new leaf has been turned.

I want to get a tattoo with a similar objective as writing the words "Chi of Love" on bottles of water.
But what?!

kamiaru @ 2006-07-20T17:05:00

2006-07-20T23:10:07Z

Today I came the closest I've ever come to killing myself.

slow times

2006-07-18T01:13:11Z

Somewhere deep within the Earth is somesort of evil power, growing. I retreat into my mind duruing these times. When the pressures of "life" creep up on me, like a beast buried for thousands of years, slowing reemerging.

It may as well have been that long.

Independence is the only thing we are addicted to.

update

2006-07-04T19:49:17Z

Okay, I'm sorry for the huge lack of updates. I'm in the middle of a project that needs my full attention. But worry not. I will fully recall, in one way or the other, the results.

See you when I see you.

sudden thoughts

2006-06-24T01:12:05Z

Whistling along to a sad song. I don't know. Life feels weird right now. I've been trying to live in the moment and just embrace everything around me. That's really productive, right?

Last night was really fun because I did something I've never done before with people I've never done it with. I won't go into the sad, disgusting details but I learned a lot in a way.

I can't help but thinking about something. Again, and again. Even now, while trying to write, I'm thinking about it. And then I thought about something else... Something that's just supposed to be a fact to me but makes me a little sad.

Hmmm.

arival

2006-06-21T05:47:43Z

I hate flying. On planes that is. Well, on airlines. I'd much rather travel foot or bike. The slower your journey takes the more you learn on it, right? Unfortunately the situation sometimes calls for certain means of travel. Such as returning to Calgary to spend the summer with my good friends having good times.

Not to say that I don't miss all of you Hawaii guys. And I'm already am missing Hawaii itself for reasons I can't quite realize.

Anyway, I made it here. Sarah found me waiting at the airport and we eventually met up with Josh later that day and took a talk around the places we used to go. Actually... I don't remember going to the sev and then mcdonald's all that often, but apparently its something Sarah and Josh do.

I'm about to crash any minute now so later.

attention

2006-06-14T10:39:07Z

Today I spent hours driving back and forth around town and on the phone with government-running dogs so that I could move back to Calgary and see all the people who message me and bitch about how I'm not there yet. THAT'S RIGHT!

-ahem-

Calgary International Airport. Tuesday, 2:00pm local time. I'll be waiting.

Haha! It's done. So now I have a little less then a week to pack and shit. I'm pretty sure I'm the worlds fasted packer so I'll probably be goofing off for the most part, til I leave. Everyone, prepare for my arrival. Like... meditate or something. And now look at this!

'Cause I'd rather stay here
With all the madmen
Than perish with the sad men roaming free

And I'd rather play here
With all the madmen
For I'm quite content they're all as sane as me

Some lyrics from 'All the Madmen' by David Bowie. He wrote it after admitting himself to a mental hospital. Download it or something, kay?

late-night ramblings

2006-06-13T13:04:14Z

It's really late, as you can see, and I thoroughly believe I've lost my ability to sleep. In this condition I felt the updating my livejournal was the best course of action.

Today was adventurous. Kale and I, having spent another night together, decided to go into town or something. I remember thinking all these strange thoughts and yet I can't remember any of them. You could compare most of our activities to that of deep meditation. We went to a thrift store that used to be a Kung Fu studio. Kale's Kung Fu studio. Basically the home base of everyone here that I know now. I was able to step back, with the help of Kale's passionate ramblings, to a time that would have been encouraging and pleasant.

To dream with the eyes open is what this sort of thing requires, I guess.

Kale eventually went off to pursue other means of fulfillment and I embarked on a two hour drive up, towards the heavens. We stopped just short of them and enjoyed a nice view of Saturn, Mars, and Jupiter. Had to visit the Mauna Kea Observatories at least once before I left.

On another note... have any of you ever looked in the mirror and felt ill at ease? Uncomfortable with your own self? I guess most of us have, na? Thinking positive is the only cure for that, I suppose.

See you soon Sarah and Josh. And Michelle! and... umm.. Ryan and Steph! Even though none of those last three read this... They should though!

hello there

2006-06-12T10:25:20Z

First entry... Yay. Started this one for a couple different reasons. Too lazy to list them, but they were good. I'll be around a lot and some people wanted a place to read about what I'm up to. And it'll serve the same purposes as my last livejournal.

Okay, I listed the reasons after all, sorta.

Okay, as it says under location, I am in Kale's guest room. Not much is happening I'm afraid.

Sarah, Josh, I really wanted to email you guys but I couldn't find MSN on this computer so you'll have to settle for this shout out. Well... it's not really shouting out cause your the only people who read this, as of yet.

I'm only slightly out of my mind at this point and I hope it's not showing.
'Night.